It was my intention to have make posts regularly this year and I have really had a lot to say but I have been overwhelmed and overwrought often all at once. This pandemic has made me an emotional basket case and there have been two events this year that I will mention that brought me to tears.
The first one was the brutal slaying of the homeless persons downtown. That morning as I heard the news, my first thought was “I hope Christopher was not one of them”. As I drove home that evening, I looked for him at his regular spot, which was near where the bodies were found, but I did not see him. I was optimistic and thought he just was not around at the time. There had been other evenings where I did not see him. The following day I got the news that he was in fact one of the persons who had died, and I cried. I am not sure if his real name was Christopher but one evening when I had stopped at the light at the intersection of East Street and East Queen Street, as was his usual custom he asked me for money. This time he told me that his name was Christopher and that he needed the money because he had an interview the next day. He handed him some money and smiled. He was not one of the brash ones. He begged without the expectation of some that you were somehow indebted to them and who thought that if you said you didn’t have it to give you were lying. He was always well dressed, clean, did not intimidate and was very pleasant. I have spent quite a bit of time doing the same commute and along the way there have been sights that become familiar, licence plates you realize you see most mornings, some you see both in the mornings and in the evenings, and people too…. like Chris. I give to persons in need as much as I am able to but seeing persons in need not only makes me sad it makes me angry too. It makes me angry because I think we can do better as a country to take care of our most vulnerable people – persons with disabilities (mental, developmental, physical), the homeless, older persons, at risk youth, and the list goes on. We have much to say in crises and when horrible things happen but in no time all is forgotten and its back to “out of sight, out of mind”. We all need to be a little kinder. Think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Think about why people do the things they do and less about the act and respond to that. We all are human and need the same basic things. It’s only the “how we get them” that differs.
So the second thing was us getting our first shipment of coronavirus vaccines and having my mom get an appointment to get hers. Over the past year I have been afraid to visit my parents because I fear being asymptomatic and giving it to them. I have been to see them but with each visit comes the worry and I don’t stop worrying until an incubation period has passed since I visited and they are ok. And I know they could get it somewhere else but it would be devastating if I was the one who gave it to them since they both have co-morbidities. I worry about my dad because I think if he gets sick and hospitalized he will not be able to survive isolation. I worry about my mom because she has more than one health issue, one which can be debilitating enough at times and I do not even want to imagine that plus COVID. So I cried because the truth is physically my hands have taken the brunt of this pandemic but the mental strain has been the worst and I just can’t wait to start worrying less about the people I love. I am getting ready to celebrate my kid’s second birthday during this pandemic and even though he will not be able to appreciate it, the best birthday present would be having all his people get at least their first shot.
Have you ever had a COVID test?
Over the last few weeks the number of cases of COVID-19 have been rising uncomfortably in Jamaica. So much so, as a result, I finally got what I consider to be my most decent work from home arrangement so far during this whole ordeal. Because of the pandemic I have been avoiding going to the doctor’s office because I expect that the possibility of someone there being ill with COVID is higher than the other places I frequent because, well, sick people go to the doctor and they will quite possibly be symptomatic. I haven’t been to the doctor since last year and this was earlier on in the pandemic. I had some issues I wanted to go in to see him about but I decided I could live with them. Fast forward to last week. I had been having an issue for a few days and on Thursday it had gotten worse so I decided to bite the bullet and go in on Friday. Because of what it was, out of an abundance of caution, he sent me to do a rapid COVID test. I was actually in the office that day and had told everyone I was just going for an appointment and then coming back. I did not get the test result at the same time so he advised me to go home and wait for the result. The nasal swab itself was just a little uncomfortable for me and nothing to write home about, but everyone has his own experience. I overheard one man saying it was going up into his eye LOL. I got my test results that afternoon and I was negative so I’ve since been back to regularly scheduled programming.
COVID 19 has meant that I have not been running into persons because I happen to be in the same building and can catch up, visits and plans for in person meetups have been placed on pause. Then I overthink everything so before getting in touch I wonder if someone is busy mothering, working from home, home schooling and then once the day is over I wonder if they are too exhausted to talk, cause I sure am. Then I spend the weekend running after my kid and yes there are texts that can be answered whenever and I have done those but the quality of my exchanges with friends has tanked especially in the last month or so but I plan to get back on the wagon, I do.
An email may suffice
Watched this video today and just thought I will share with you my readers. If you take nothing else away (and that first part should be a given so if it isn’t for you, please take that away), ask yourself this, will an email suffice?
Love and light…