It has been weeks since I last wrote a blog post. I had set out at the beginning of the year to do a whole lot more with this blog but as the saying goes… “you win some, you lose some”. There are other things that I set out to do that I did and still others that I am not where I would have liked to be almost at the end of the year.
This year has been a year of lessons. Learning that no matter how busy you make yourself, you cannot “outbusy” the things you are refusing to deal with by being busy, by doing, by literally running. Learning that once you stop being busy or stop moving; those issues are still going to be waiting there to be sorted out. Learning that I am stronger than I think once I faced those issues head on.
Learning (hopefully, once and for all) that despite your automatic “being positive and giving people the benefit of the doubt”, people can be real assholes. Learning that some people are assholes, period and some people act like assholes some of the time and that you have to separate the asshole behaviour from the person.
Learning that you have people in your corner that you never even knew were there.
Learning about your family.
Learning that you are actually good at something you never in your wildest dreams thought you would be good at and learning how to use your knew found “super power” for good when instinctively you prefer to be laid back and let someone else run the show. I joined Toastmasters earlier this year and I am proud to say that I earned my first designation a few weeks ago, I am now a Competent Communicator and one of the biggest compliments I have received this year was being told that I had the makings of a future Golden Gavel awardee. If you know me, you know that I am a bit shy, introverted (people literally exhaust me) and hate public speaking. Toastmasters has taught me that I can actually help people by lending my voice. I have had people ask me to send them my speeches, I have had persons share the content of my presentation with others. I learnt that speaking can equate to helping. ICAJ Toastmasters Club for the win!
The title for my blog post is purpose and at the outset it may seem like it should have been titled “learning” but the recurrent theme for me this year and especially in the last few weeks has been purpose. I finished reading “The Purpose Driven Life” a few weeks ago and the whole idea of purpose has been surfacing in a lot of what I have been reading since then and just thinking about life, what I want to do and where I want to go. I have been asking God what it is He wants me to do. I think I got an answer but I am not yet sure how I am going to operationalize it because it is going to take money. I have figured out a fun way to do it but as I said it will take money. And then again, did He mean it literally or figuratively? I will figure it out soon enough.
But back to the whole idea of purpose. What’s your purpose? Have you gotten it all figured out yet? For some people it will take a longer time to figure it out than others. How you fulfil your purpose may take a different shape or form at different periods of your life. Perhaps your purpose may even change. I figured out that even though I don’t have it all figured out as yet, there is one thing I am spending a whole lot of time on several days a week that has nothing to do with my purpose and it is draining the life out of me. Time to change that!
Having not yet figured it all out I may not be as purposeful as I would like to be but I am excited. Excited about the journey and excited about the prospects once I have it all figured out. Excited that things all seem to be falling into place. I am not going to be complacent though. I know that shit is going to happen. I got a taste of “the bad” this year. My grandmother died and it really threw me for a loop. It was one of those things that forced me to stop moving and deal with some stuff. I have been reflecting on her life and the reality that my parents aren’t immortal, really hit hard. So I am still trying to figure things out but I am getting there.
Once again I have big plans for the blog, but bear with me if it is not all I hope it will be but I promise it will be better. Thanks for following, sharing, and commenting. I am going to try posting to Medium as well so I will have another avenue to share my thoughts and ideas. I will let you know how it goes as I have not posted to Medium before. Basically I will be posting my blog posts here, there.